There is an irony that goes around in the dating world, we have to be ourselves (given this is why they want to take us out on a date) but we have to put our best foot forward. That means a hyper alert sense of everything we do and say, which can ultimately distract us from actually enjoying the date. It seems that balancing being comfortable about yourself and attempting to be your most presentable self is a task in itself, enjoying the date is a whole other thing.
We obviously can’t read minds (but how awesome would it be if we could), but guys are quite simple when it comes to their expectations about their date. It’s not rocket science or a real-life version of Inception, it’s all about being aware without being too conscious. Try turning off the chick-flick for a while and listen to suggestions and pointers guys we surveyed actually had to say. Here are ten things to jot down before you dine in and pucker up:
Hopefully this isn’t something that any lady unconsciously brings around because this is just basic self-care. But improper hygiene isn’t only limited to body odor, it can also mean bad breath. It’s a necessity to be aware of this because a good conversation can be ruined by an unspoken (but heavily smelling) factor. Freshening up before a meal a.k.a. cleaning your hands or even spritzing a few pumps of alcohol won’t harm you either.
It has once been said that how you treat the waiter at a restaurant says a lot about you and it seems that many guys agree. If it’s completely uncalled for and they are doing their jobs, there’s no reason to be all high and mighty. The basic rule of equality and fairness anyone? Humility will take you a long way, and while that could a potential life quote, also consider it as a dating commandment.
If you prefer an eye-locking session with your phone, you might as well have gone on a Skype date. It’s a big turn off for guys to have to sit across a girl who is more interested in who liked her Instagram photo which she posted 3 hours ago compared to their date. And who wouldn’t be turned off by that anyway? Limit your selfies too, your Snapchat can wait, Snapchat won’t be there at 2 am to cheer you up, unless it’s a Snap about cute dogs. Dogs in adorable costumes always work.
It’s great to be aware of the unconscious mannerism we posses, it’s not to put you down but to help you improve. But being excessively conscious not only makes you uncomfortable but your date as well. If you’re hungry, by all means enjoy the meal. No law and constitution limits you to a salad (who would implement such a thing anyway). You don’t need to fidget on your dress or makeup either, if it’s not something you can confidently flaunt, then give another outfit a go. It’s important to be the best version of yourself.
You’d think that bloating is the biggest crime you could commit, but guys are not that shallow. They’d be more concerned about the fact that you ordered a meal and ate only half of it. Especially if you guys aren’t splitting the bill, just consider it as a sign of respect.
Most of the guys surveyed had this one answer in common. Unless they’ve beforehand planned where to eat, try searching up restaurants you’d prefer. And if they suggest something and you agree, let’s not keep changing our minds. That’s about a few minutes wasted of constantly changing the restaurant preference. And it just shows how indecisive one can be, now who has time for that?
Nobody expects you to be a motivational speaker but if English is not your native tongue, switch it to Tagalog. It’s just practicality and absolutely not a form of downgrade. And while we’re at it, they secretly hate the word “stuff” too, you’re welcome.
A date opens an opportunity for a two-sided conversation, one of his and one of yours. Hogging the conversation the whole time? Isn’t exactly an impressive skill. Don’t get us wrong, not talking at all is also a turn-off, but learn about him too. His interests, his aspirations, even his dislikes. Let him know you like Star Wars, ask him for a movie recommendation, ask him what he thinks of a player on your favorite basketball team. It’s how you make a date interesting.
We get the jitters, the nervousness and being shy. But keeping silent a majority of the time eliminates any chance of him getting to know you. He asked you out because he found something interesting in you, so before jumping to conclusions that you rather not say anything in chances of getting embarrassed, also keep in mind he already found you interesting thus the date and he wants to know more.
Clingy can mean many things to be quite frank, clingy can be touchy and it can also mean being too dependent on your date. Don’t expect him to reply instantly and every time before he picks you up, unless he’s commuting, chances are he’s driving. You also don’t need to call him up as soon as he drops you off. Let yourself breathe first. Feel the room and the moment, you’ll know best when to thank him for the wonderful day. Don’t get overly excited, he didn’t ask you to move in, he asked you out.
Most guys plan a date before they take you out. 9/10 times, they’ve planned to pick you up, reserved a restaurant and thought of things to throw in your conversation. In return, they do expect a similar kind of effort. If your date isn’t a candle-lit dinner and more of a visit to the theme park, it’s best to not leave the house with brand new shoes you have yet to break in and will cause you blisters. Wearing a bodycon dress on a date that you will involve a lot of walking or what not, just screams unprepared. But non-outfit-wise, even time is an important factor. Don’t cut an amazing date short because you forgot to do something. They’ll get the impression you’re using your oh-there’s-been-a-fake-emergency-which-I-have-to-attend-to excuse.
It’s great that you two are getting to know each other, but especially if it’s a first date, don’t fill the air with flaws and inconsistencies your exes had. It’s highly doubtful that that’s what they signed up for and you wouldn’t want the same situation to happen to you either. Focus on him and yourself and try not bringing the ghosts of your past as a third wheel.